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How The Finch Stole Christmas

Lord Dodo

We are grateful to Eve, a Dodo Padler of long standing, who started buying Dodo Pads directly from dodopad.com in 2021 and now regularly sends in dotty dodo ditties for our gentle amusement. 

Last year she amused us with her 'poem', 'The First Flight of the Concordodo' and this year has sent us another of her works about redemption at Christmas time through the gift of Dodo Pads. Maybe it should be made into a film?!?

How The Finch Stole Christmas 

By Eve Dulcopper

Dear Reader, it’s me, Lord Dodo.

And what could be greater

Than for this year's festive rhyme

To have me as your narrator?


This Christmas I have a story to tell you

And the protagonist isn’t me 

It’s one of my dodistant relatives

From my dodistant family tree.


But did you know, Dear Reader

That to many a bird I am related

Vultures, crows, gulls and sparrows

My heritage is much debated.


My sixth great cousin thrice removed 

In Dodoville he came to power

‘The Finch’ was his name 

And he resided in Dodo Tower.


My lawyers have asked me to point out 

One important thing 

Similarities to any other stories are coincidental  

And with that our tale can begin.


Every Doddler in Dodoville liked Christmas a lot,

But The Finch who lived just north of Dodoville did not.

The Finch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season,

Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.


It could be perhaps he finds the whole thing most absurd,

Or maybe it’s because it’s prime time for stuffing the bird

But I think the most likely reason of all,

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.


As he watched the Doddlers of Dodoville from the window of Dodo Tower

He rubbed his wings together and counted down the hours,

For whilst the Doddlers of Dodoville would be sleeping in their beds

The Finch would be reaching for the stockings that hung above their heads.


He’d reach inside and one by one remove all of the gifts

And without their presents, the Christmas spirit would not exist.

As the sound of carols, joy and laughter filled the Dodoville air

The Finch went to his dressing room so for his plan he could prepare.


He donned red suit with white trim, the Finch had never looked so chic

As he completed the look with faux white beard which hid his yellow beak.

As midnight came, Dodoville was quiet, as to bed the Doddlers they did go,

The only sound that breached the silence was webbed feet on the snow.


And over the next several hours The Finch executed his wicked plot

Presents, tinsel, Christmas trees, in his sack he put the lot.

For when The Finch was finished, Dodoville looked ever so bare,

Any normal day it appeared, no Christmas spirit in the air


Through the iron gates of Dodo Tower he dragged his Christmas loot

And straight into the furnace it all went followed by his Santa suit.

Sat by his present fuelled fireplace the Finch gleefully laughed

Not only had he canceled Christmas, but his energy bills would be halved!


On Christmas morn the Finch awoke and drew apart his curtains.

He’d see a town devoid of Christmas cheer of that he could be certain.

But instead, the sight that greeted him caused his tiny heart to skip a beat.

Filled with rage, his loud outburst, could be heard far down the street.


For every Doddler in Dodoville was singing, dancing, cheering.

The Christmas spirit was very present despite their gifts all disappearing. 

The Finch hadn’t stopped Christmas. “How can this be so?” he seethed,

“Christmas spirit, they should have none, for that last night I thieved”


And then a thought occurred to him and in his tracks he stopped

Maybe there’s more to Christmas cheer than presents from a shop.

Maybe Christmas isn’t gifts or tinsel or chocolates from a tin,

Maybe Christmas is a feeling borne from love that comes from deep within.


And with that thought The Finch knew exactly what needed to be done

He sent a telegram to a long lost friend, and his redemption had begun.

To Olde King Dodo he had reached out ,“Your lord I’ve made a grave error,

I’ve ruined Christmas for Dodoville. Us birds will be barred forever.”


“Fear not dear Finch, I’ve an idea” 

Olde King Dodo he replied

“There’s something I’ve been working on

Which can help to put this right”


Of course what Olde King Dodo was referring to

Was his crowning glory,

The invention of the Dodopad 

But that’s another story. 


Down the hill, the Finch dragged his sack 

And across Dodoville he did dash

Replacing all the Christmas gifts that last night he had turned to ash


A new notebook for Mrs Jones and a Dodo PAd for her brother,

Accessorised with red pen loop and gold embossed slipcover.

The ‘Book for Cooks’ for Mr Smith, to log his every culinary creation

And for his left handed wife the ‘On the Left’ diary was quite the revelation


And with every passing minute, The Finch continued to spread Christmas cheer,

Cheer to all Doddlers be they far or be they near.

The error of his ways, The Finch had come to realis;

A smile spread across his beak as he felt his heart double in size.


Every Doddler of Dodoville likes Christmas a lot, 

Especially The Finch, much Christmas spirit he has now got!

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